Wednesday, 30 June 2010


Made myself sad tonight, and its all my own fault, there's not much i can write here, alot of this is just gibberish from my head. I do things and then want opinions from other people on weather or not i should have done it, thing is why can't i tell on my own, weather or not i should have done it. I'm a big girl, I'm old enough to know and i should be aware by now! Sometimes, i think what I'm doing, isn't bad and i should just carry on, but then i think after that maybe this might affect people around me, and i put myself in their position and that's when i go mad, because i know for a be so annoyed if they were to be doing it. HYPOCRITE! :(( so annoyed at myself. I always tell the truth, i figure why hide behind it, then it looks like your trying to hide something and if I'm not then why not tell the truth.. but sometimes when i do tell the truth then i think, did that person have to know that? or could i have kept that a little more to myself..!? Then i feel like if I'm keeping it to myself I'm hiding behind it again, And other times i think its not a big thing, not a big deal, not in my eyes, or at least i didn't think it was a big deal in my eyes at the time and only after did i think oh noo.. and i guess what i want now is reassurance that its OK, that it was fine what i did, but if they were to tell me they did the same thing and they were looking for reassurance from me then id go mad at them, i cant win.. I'm useless.. total loser!! :(

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